Tag: Whimsical

Colt 45

“Colt 45” by Holly Sheidenberger

I am buying a coffee for my morning commute. He is buying a 40-ounce Colt 45 malt liquor. It’s 7:15 a.m.

Shattering the monotony, he whips out a gun and points it at the cashier. Everyone in the gas station screams.

I hate pansies who cower in front of guns on TV. So, I man up and grab the muzzle and twist it out of his hand.

It’s a .45 Colt. Ironic.

The guy drops his liquor in surprise. It explodes all over the floor.

He lunges for the gun, slips on the wet tile floor, and cracks his head on the ground. Blood seeps out everywhere, mingling with the alcohol.

He gurgles for a minute and then stops. I think he’s dead.

Twenty minutes later I’m at the office. Bob fake smiles, “Good morning. How are you?”

I fake smile back. “Fine, how are you?” and head to my cubicle to start my day.

Carousel Pony

“Carousel Pony” by Holly Sheidenberger

That park had an old-fashioned carousel in it.

Carl would never be caught dead on one of those prissy, fancied-up, flowered white carousel ponies.

But this carousel had a dolphin on it.

He had to ride that dolphin.

When the gate opened, he speed-sauntered over to it.

A little child reached the dolphin first, and he panicked.

Carl lunged, grabbed the pole, and yelled out, “Dibs!!”

The child’s lip quivered, then a rasping inhale and a wailing cry filled the air.

Carl looked to see that the child was clutching a dolphin toy and soaking it with tears.

He looked down at his maniac hands clenching the dolphin’s reins.

He sighed, loosened his grip, and handed them over. “Here you go, kid. Sorry.”

He guessed it was a fancy pony sort of day after all.